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I did try to hear His voice, from all that is honest within me...

I mean, I tried.
I honestly let go of all my fears that God wouldn't want to talk to me.
That maybe it wasn't God talking to me.
That my doubts into my own head talking to me were thrown out the window.

I trusted God.
And I failed myself.
I don't blame Him.
I am the weak one.
And I pray He forgives my unbelief.
But I'm not strong enough for this.
I can only live by what is written.
I can not live by thoughts yet.
I have not reached that level of maturity.
I can only believe God's word which sits in front of my physical eyes.
I lack faith.

Plus, I saw that what I was writing was matching up only with either my own physical desires which always aligned with what other people wanted.
Because I am a people pleaser.
I have to change that...

~CJ

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