I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone today. At least, my comfort zone of 2010... even further out of my comfort zone of 2009 and 2008.
It's amazing how having students who look up to you forces you to do what you would never do if you had a choice. That's not the only thing that's changed me in the last couple years, but it's what comes to mind.
I don't think most of my readers/followers know the intensity of my shyness when I was younger. I hated and I mean, hated, talking with new people. I didn't like talking on the phone. I didn't even want to talk with old friends that I hadn't seen in a little over a year. I didn't want the attention people gave when I was saying something. I was so cross and stern-looking when I spoke, my parents thought I had happiness/joy issues.
I'm not sure if I liked that feature about me, but I blamed it on my personality.
I don't know if it was fear, pride, or a mixture of the two. I just didn't want to talk.
But as I've lived on in life, I've learned that I must talk, whether I be consuming or giving. There has to be communication with the outside world. Sometimes now, I can't stop talking. I inevitably have awkward, prideful, and fearful moments, but there's been a transformation.
People do change. Maybe it's a personality change or a willful decision to change. I made the latter.
And today, I talked with a bunch of strangers... while handing out tracts.
It.was.awesome.
I must confess, my initial motive was wrong. I was leading 5 kids to hand out tracts, door-to-door. One of the girls that was typically shy, willingly led her group door-to-door, handing out tracts, and did most of the talking, albeit following the template I made for her. Their group tackled the most number of houses. She was amazing and I'm so, so, so proud of my 11yo A--- and her sidekicks 9yo D------- and 9yo D----.
But back to my shortcomings... I also felt so ashamed of myself for being scared of sharing the Gospel. I was determined to overcome that fear. It might seem silly to you, but I sometimes wished people wouldn't be home, so I wouldn't have to talk and I could just stick a tract and contact card on their door handle. I ended up talking with a few people and, boy, did it feel good to obey God's commands.
Inside, I felt a victory over something that had held me down for so long. I can talk to strangers now... coherently... with a SMILE!! I had been freed from that fear. Sure, that fear might overtake me again, but I've conquered it once, so I can conquer it again!
Today has been a beautiful day... and not just because of the weather. I can barely wait for next month's church evangelism outreach!!!
*jumps with an inner joy never known before*
Have a blessed rest of the weekend!
~CJ
It's amazing how having students who look up to you forces you to do what you would never do if you had a choice. That's not the only thing that's changed me in the last couple years, but it's what comes to mind.
I don't think most of my readers/followers know the intensity of my shyness when I was younger. I hated and I mean, hated, talking with new people. I didn't like talking on the phone. I didn't even want to talk with old friends that I hadn't seen in a little over a year. I didn't want the attention people gave when I was saying something. I was so cross and stern-looking when I spoke, my parents thought I had happiness/joy issues.
I'm not sure if I liked that feature about me, but I blamed it on my personality.
I don't know if it was fear, pride, or a mixture of the two. I just didn't want to talk.
But as I've lived on in life, I've learned that I must talk, whether I be consuming or giving. There has to be communication with the outside world. Sometimes now, I can't stop talking. I inevitably have awkward, prideful, and fearful moments, but there's been a transformation.
People do change. Maybe it's a personality change or a willful decision to change. I made the latter.
And today, I talked with a bunch of strangers... while handing out tracts.
It.was.awesome.
I must confess, my initial motive was wrong. I was leading 5 kids to hand out tracts, door-to-door. One of the girls that was typically shy, willingly led her group door-to-door, handing out tracts, and did most of the talking, albeit following the template I made for her. Their group tackled the most number of houses. She was amazing and I'm so, so, so proud of my 11yo A--- and her sidekicks 9yo D------- and 9yo D----.
But back to my shortcomings... I also felt so ashamed of myself for being scared of sharing the Gospel. I was determined to overcome that fear. It might seem silly to you, but I sometimes wished people wouldn't be home, so I wouldn't have to talk and I could just stick a tract and contact card on their door handle. I ended up talking with a few people and, boy, did it feel good to obey God's commands.
Inside, I felt a victory over something that had held me down for so long. I can talk to strangers now... coherently... with a SMILE!! I had been freed from that fear. Sure, that fear might overtake me again, but I've conquered it once, so I can conquer it again!
Today has been a beautiful day... and not just because of the weather. I can barely wait for next month's church evangelism outreach!!!
*jumps with an inner joy never known before*
Have a blessed rest of the weekend!
~CJ
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