Spurring on...

Ok, so maybe I'm one of the few people
that takes beating down myself
the "wrong" way...
as in...
when I see how horrible I am,
from my own analysis
I don't get discouraged (usually),
but I resolve to do better in the future
and hopefully in the present.
I won't say how long the resolutions last
(because that would be downright embarrassing),
but that's why I love looking at
and being around people
that are so so so so much better
than I am at something,
because even though I may never attain
their level of awesomeness,
I know where to improve
and have an example to look upon.

So often, people have told me not to be hard on myself,
and to remember I have improved,
but I think of that type of criticism
for myself as a motivator.
It actually spurs me on to do the right thing.
This may be one reason,
I have a tendency to criticize others.
I don't mean to offend, hurt, or tear you down.
I just want to show you
where you might be falling short,
and could be improving.
Because honestly,
encouraging words don't help you improve,
in the practical sense,
but on the other hand,
they definitely boost your confidence
and can sometimes give you
that extra shot of energy
to reach the finish line.

I admit...
I have too much of the negative
and too little of the positive,
but I promise,
I mean no intentional harm to you.
And, trust me,
when I attack myself,
it's for my own good.
If you see me being all depressed,
just slap me in the face,
and tell me not to be depressed,
because depression is just a huge, flashing sign
of selfishness and distrust
in the greatness and faithfulness of God,
and I hate seeing that in myself.

Wow - that's the fastest I've ever written anything so decent and inspiring to myself.  Talk about getting fired up.  It's not literary prose worth framing, but it was fun.  Now excuse me while I go be productive in other areas of my life.

~CJ